Doris Jean - part 3

 So here we are living our best lives! Dad isn't drinking, he has a successful business, and Doris Jean is just thrilled with it all! I found out last week from my brother that my parents got divorced around this time but stayed together for me.  I had NO CLUE!! Seriously, no clue! I did remember there was talk of divorce back in the earlier days when dad was drinking but I had no idea that they actually divorced when I thought things were going so well.  I can only imagine that they both felt so guilty for everything I went through in my earlier years that they didn't want to break that news to me? That is the only thing I can think of as to why they didn't tell me.  CRAZY, right?  

My memory isn't what it used to be and I wonder if it is because I got so good at blocking things out.  This timeline that I am about to share is not precise but it is the ballpark of when things happened, give or take a few months.  My mom had diabetes which I believe she got from her pregnancy with me. She was 38 when she had me and back in the early seventies it was a bit more uncommon than it is today to have a baby in your late thirties.  My mom was also a heavy smoker.  She and my dad smoked Pall Mall.  If you know anything about cigarettes, you know these things were no joke! No filter and straight nicotine.

  When I was around 14ish my mom's diabetes was getting worse and they tried a treatment at home that helped for a bit.  At this point, she started having more doctor appointments and was tired a lot more. Again, she prayed her way through it all and stayed positive.  Her skin was getting so thin and brittle. Any time she would barely hit or scrape herself on something she would bleed a lot!  I remember coming home from school some days and there would be blood on the kitchen floor or on the counters and she would have no idea what happened or where it was coming from. 

She eventually had to go on dialysis 3/4 times a week.  By the time I was 16, she was struggling pretty bad with so many complications from diabetes.  She and dad seemed happy and I still felt good about where we were as a family. We had so many good times at the place in Sandtown.  Mom believed in Sunday dinners and my brother and his family always came. My oldest brother would show up occasionally but his wife and kids would always be there.  I remember games of kickball, swimming, listening to music, and just being a family.  My heart needed those times desperately.  

When I turned 16, dad bought me a white Ford Escort.  There wasn't a waiting period to drive alone as there is now so the very first day I got my license, I was cruising!  Over the next few months, mom was in and out of the hospital regularly.  I would go see her and I remember one time, in particular, she was crying.  She asked me where dad was and that he had not been to see her.  The more I thought about it, the more I remembered he was not at home a lot either.  I hugged her and told her not to cry, and that I would tell dad to come to see her.  My dad was a simple man.  Jeans, a t-shirt, flannels, boots, and a trucker hat are what he wore every day.  When I got home from the hospital I was on a mission to find out where my dad had been.  I walked in the door and my dad had on a gold watch, khaki pants, a button-down shirt with a sweater over top, and a fedora hat. REALLY???  He was sitting up against the wall on a barstool whispering on the phone.  He could tell I was upset so he ended his conversation and I asked him why he wasn't visiting mom.  He paused and told me he was having an affair with a friend of theirs and he was going to leave mom.  I started to cry and said you will break mom's heart. After everything she has done for you, stuck by you through all of those drunken, unstable, horrible alcoholic days, this is what you do to her?  I was done with the conversation and just cried in my room.  How was I going to tell Doris Jean this news? 

The next day I was in the elevator going up to mom's room and both of my brothers were in the elevator with me.  I asked them, what would you say if dad was cheating on mom?  They both thought I was being dramatic and shut that conversation down.  I was scared to death to say anything so you guessed it, I kept it inside.  Mom asked if I had spoken to dad and I told her yes and that he would be up to see her soon.  That time never happened.    

I was so proud of my dad for so many reasons.  He quit drinking cold turkey, and he completely turned his life around and had a very successful business.  Why would he do this?  Why?