In the blink of an eye

 Life is so unpredictable.  Writing about my dad's passing and thinking about the loss I have suffered through the years, I am reminded how quickly things can change in this life.  When Doris Jean passed it broke my heart, I felt like I couldn't breathe.  I knew she was sick and her time was near, but I don't think you are prepared for that kind of loss even when you think you are.  She would always get better until she didn't.  I had dreams for years after she died that she was still alive and in the hospital.  I would wake up almost believing it.  When my dad died, it was out of the blue and sudden.  There was no warning, nothing to prepare for.  He was just gone.  I honestly don't know which is worst.  I guess if I had to choose I would choose the way my dad died as he did not suffer. My mom's diabetes took a toll on her body and she suffered too long. She was ready to go long before God called her home. 

On January 17, 2021, Sean got off work at midnight and was leaving his job.  He turns out of the entrance/exit, pushed the gas pedal, the rear tire spins out a bit, veers off of the road, catches one of those concrete cylinder things that are in some driveways on back roads, the car flips three or so times and lands on the roof in someone's yard.  Jacob and I are sound asleep at home.  The first call I receive is from a co-worker of his telling me that he has been in a bad car accident. He doesn't say much more. The second phone call I receive is from Sean, he says, babe, I have been in a bad car accident, it is bad.  Then the phone goes silent. My first thought was how bad could it be if he called me?  The third call I receive is from the Paramedic.  She says Mrs. Armstrong, your husband has been in a car accident, I don't know the extent of his injuries or what is going on internally but I wanted you to know we are headed to Kent General/ Bayhealth.  Oh, and ma'am, you will not be able to go inside the hospital due to Covid restrictions.  By this point, my entire body is shaking, literally shaking.  Jacob comes into my bedroom and I tell him what happened and he has tears streaming down his face. We just sit in my bed for the rest of the night waiting for the phone to ring.  I did call the hospital after I got off the phone with the Paramedic and they confirmed that I would not be able to go inside the hospital.  It was torture, not knowing if he would live, die, we knew nothing.  It wasn't until 10/11am that I received a call from one of the Doctors. They confirmed that Sean broke his back and bruised his kidneys. He was in a lot of pain.  I felt so helpless and lost.  We have always been there for one another and the one time he needed me the most, I couldn't be there for him.  He was in the hospital for a few days and then was released with home care.  He had to learn how to walk again and strengthen his back.  I say his recovery was nothing short of a miracle.  He was back to work after being down for a little over three months.  Those vows, in sickness and in health never had more meaning. 

Life has a way of throwing things at us that we can't predict.  Some of us live in fear when we are happy or things are going well because we think it is too good to be true and we are waiting for the next bad thing to happen. I have been guilty of this.  I understand life comes with ups and downs, terrible heartaches, and unimaginable loss. I choose to embrace the good times, don't take people for granted, and cherish each day as it is a true gift to wake up each morning. No matter how much my heart gets broken in this life, I will use those breaks to shine my light brighter. Things will get better, the pain will subside over time, and remember,  you are never alone.  There are so many of us that are out there living through the same pain, the same loss, and the same heartbreak. This life is too short to live in fear of when the next hard time will come.  Those we lost would want us to continue living, loving, and growing. The best gift I can give my mom is to live the way that honors her.  To Be BOLD and most of all be happy! Tell the people you love that you love them. Live for today!  You deserve to be happy, NOW! 

Be BOLD!        

Below are a few pictures from the accident.  We have always been a Mustang family. It had been a few years since we had a Mustang as it wasn't feasible with pets and all of our son's baseball equipment, etc.  We decided in September 2020 that we would get a Mustang. We had the car for 4 months before it was totaled.  To be honest, I didn't have a good feeling when we bought it.  I couldn't put my finger on it, I just wasn't excited about it.  I knew Sean wanted this car and was so happy to have found it so I stayed quiet because he was so happy.  It was a fun car to drive while we had it!