Lessons learned in all things baseball

 There has never been a time more than now that kids are in multiple sports, or on multiple teams for the same sport.  My son played baseball from the time he was five years old in the Pee Wee league through his freshman year in college.  He played little league, school ball and began to play for a travel team when he was 11 years old.  He absolutely loved the game and we loved watching him. Well, most of the time!  The most stressful part of watching him for me was when he was pitching.  If you have a pitcher in the family, you know the feeling. I get butterflies just thinking about it.  Jacob loved the sport and we did check-ins regularly to make sure he was still passionate about it and that it was something he wanted to do.

I think as parents some of us get caught up in the game and sometimes not always in a positive way. My husband and I left a couple fields not speaking over the years as Sean would get caught up and yell something out to Jacob if he missed the ball or made a simple mistake.  I would say to him, how is that helping?  Not only does he feel bad for missing the ball, but he is now embarrassed by his dad yelling out to him and then hearing it from his coach and teammates. It would drive me crazy!  Sean got better through the years but occasionally he would let something slip out.  Insert eye-roll!

Jacob was a great first baseman!  I loved watching him work that base, he was smooth and confident.  He earned the nickname McScoop on his travel team because of the way he would stretch and scoop those balls out of the dirt to make an out.  We had a lot of fun through the years on the travel team and I love those players so much. I watched them all grow into awesome young men!

One of the biggest things I can say looking back is that Coaches matter.  Jacob lacked confidence on the mound.  He was great when he was performing well but if he made a mistake, or threw a wild pitch, he would be his worst critic and then it would go downhill fast.  He was always harder on himself than anyone else.  We would say short memory, shake it off, focus on the next pitch but he couldn't get it out of his head.  I remember a Coach telling him that he was uncoachable at one point.  Jacob was about 13 or so when he was told this.  He wrote an essay about it last year during his Freshman year at college.  He read it to me and it made me cry.  I had no idea those words made such an impact on him and he carried those words with him through the years.  One of his favorite coaches was very laid back and unorthodox but he took the time to get to know Jacob.  He knew his weaknesses and strengths and knew how to get the best from him.  When coaches don't take the time to get to know their players, you can see it on the field, and on the bench.  The coaches who knew Jacob and his capabilities as a pitcher knew you could not put him in cold.  He needed to warm up and get his arm moving.  I always knew when a coach would put him in cold, things would not go well, and they didn't. Another thing that I observed that kills team morale is the players who are held to different standards.  Those players who don't come to team events, miss practices regularly but because of their last name or who they know, they start every game.  The players and parents notice and it isn't fair and completely kills team morale.

Jacob started seeing a Coach/Mentor during his last couple of years of High School ball which was cut short due to Covid.  Jacob would go see him weekly and adored this man.  Coach called me one day and said Jackie, I think Jacob has ADD. As a matter of fact, I am convinced of it.  Coach has adult ADD and it didn't take him long to identify it in Jacob.  He gave him an online assessment and confirmed what he was picking up from him.  I contacted several school personnel and they convinced me it was unlikely that Jacob had it, he had good grades and maintained friendships and they didn't see it. I chalked up Jacob's inability to focus, messy room, and forgetfulness to him just being a typical teenage boy.  It wasn't until last year that I took him to get evaluated and not only was he diagnosed with ADD he also has anxiety.  I had no clue.  He doesn't display his anxiety like I was used to seeing other people show theirs. The inability to bounce back after those wild pitches, the negative self-talk, and the shutting down after making a mistake, all made sense. I didn't want to medicate him as I had heard so many stories about ADD and ADHD medications.  We got a giant whiteboard, created schedules, set reminders, learned breathing techniques, and took herbal supplements and nothing worked.  He was eventually prescribed medication for his adult ADD and it has made a world of difference.  He is more focused, less anxious, and is a totally different young man.  I wish we would have had him on medication years ago as it has made that much of a difference for him. 

He had to make the hard decision last year not to play baseball this year as he failed a couple classes because he couldn't maintain his grades and play baseball.  He often wonders if he would be able to do it now that he is medicated. I think it eats at him a little because he loves the sport.  He was a good, solid player and I am not just saying that because I am his momma!  

Parents, remember these are your kids, let them have fun!  Don't be hard on them for making an error on the field or striking out. They know they made that error, give them the space to build the confidence to get better.  Let your kid be a kid because it all goes by in the blink of an eye. Coaches, get to know your players and play them where they should be played and not stick them in another position because a last name is more important than the talent you have in front of you.  I appreciate all of the Coaches who had a hand in molding Jacob and getting to know his strengths and weaknesses. I appreciate the Coaches volunteering their time to coach.  They do not have to be there but they show up to every practice, offering guidance, tolerating attitudes from players and their parents, and doing as much as they can with what they have.  Thank you!               

Sean and I used to run around from field to field, be up at 5am on the weekends, sit in the car waiting for it to stop raining, or wait for what seemed like forever for that extended practice to end.  I wouldn't trade it for the world!  Have a great season parents and players!  Have fun and make memories! 

Be BOLD!!