Much to Prove

 I feel like for more than half of my life, I always felt like I had something to prove to myself. I am sure it has a lot to do with how I grew up, but I always had a very strong belief in my future, even when I had no idea what I was doing.  When I got the Youth Director position I was pretty comfortable because  I already knew everyone who worked there and I would now report to the big boss versus the former Youth Director.  Sean and I had moved from the apartments into Base Housing.  We made a lifetime friend and that friend became the Godfather to our son many, many years later.  

My husband was and is a huge Mustang fan.  Sean was outside one day doing something with the Mustang and this young guy rolled into the driveway across the culdesac from ours.  He had a Mustang.  It was love at first car. His name was Shawn and the two instantly clicked.  Shawn was at our house a lot and he and his wife were like permanent dinner guests.  I honestly can't remember how long we lived there.  We decided we wanted to buy a house and there was a bi-level being built in this big wooded community across the bridge from the Base.  We bought it and were so excited to have our first real home together. We were in our mid-twenties at this point. We were both so very thankful.  It made us appreciate the rough start we had when we lived in California. We had furniture and condiments! Yes, we were moving on up!  Shawn was ready for a change so he and his wife bought a house in the same development.  I think he missed us and wanted to be closer. I didn't mind one bit.  

Doris Jean had been gone for a few years at this point but my dad and I were pretty close.  He would come to visit once and a while and he was so proud of Sean and I for purchasing our first home.  He would walk around the house and say, Sean, you should think about putting a motion light here, Sean, you have a loose board we need to tighten up on your deck.  He loved to tinker and work on things. One thing that would make my Stepmom so irritated is the fact that EVERYTHING was better at my house.  The lemonade was the BEST he ever had at my house, the Lay's potato chips were the best and freshest chips he had ever tasted.  It would drive her bananas.. I loved it!    

Things were going well. Sean and I were still learning how married life works, and how to communicate and there were talks of starting a family.  I was in the big leagues at work and I was learning so much on how to be a Leader.  I was so young and looking back there are so many things I would have done differently but I think for my age I did a pretty good job.  I was sure to prove that to myself every single day.  I remember one day my boss asked me to create a budget for the Center. I was CLUELESS with a capital C.  I gave her what I created and she said, this is the worst budget I have ever seen.  HA! It wasn't for lack of trying, it was just lack of experience.  I was determined to figure out every facet of the position and KILL IT!  Looking back, I had so much fun there and learned the most about myself and what I was truly capable of doing.  I knew deep down although this was a great position, it wasn't my final destination and it was just a stepping stone to something bigger. It was. Be BOLD!  Go after what is yours!  You may not know everything but you can learn, you can put in the hard work, and be the BEST at whatever you decide you want to do.