Dad - I'm Sorry I'm Fat


 I am back! I had to take a few days to rest and get these crazy allergies under control.  Since my immune system is depleted it takes me longer to fight ANYTHING!  I will save that topic for another time.  I said we would talk about health, wellness, fitness, losing weight and it is time.  I am definitely going to post in sections as this topic is something I know a lot about.  The good the bad and everything in between. 

If you have followed this blog from the beginning you know the way my dad would make up to me was with food.  He got drunk, and the next day it is Tastykakes, Reese's peanut butter cups, ice cream - whatever he knew I liked, I had it. 

I started getting chubby in 5th grade I would say.  My Elementary School thought it would be a neat idea to call all of the "chubby" kids out over the intercom to meet in the gym.  I remember standing in line thinking wait a minute, why am I here, all of these kids are fat?  We would run around the gym and exercise.  Can you imagine that happening today?  OMG!  I don't remember that club lasting long. 

Right before I started this blog in January 2023 I was going through a tote of old letters. I found one for my dad and I thought I put it in my desk drawer for easy access. I was going to share it with you today but I can't find it.  It was a letter to my dad saying sorry for being chubby.  That I was going to lose weight and do better and I signed it with some derogatory name making fun of my weight gain.  I was so angry after I read that! So angry!  I realized at that moment that my weight issues are so connected to my childhood. More than I think I even realize sitting here typing.  I was probably 10 or 11 writing that apology letter. 

Parents please, please, please be mindful of what you say to your kids. Even if you think it's funny or a joke.  You will have no idea what lasting effects those worlds will have on your child.  How they will carry that with them for years. 

I was about a size 12 in High School. Back then that was on the thicker side but I never felt out of place or fat.  I never looked at myself and thought I was overweight. I was comfortable in my skin.  I did have one guy my senior year tell me that I had a cute face but I was one dessert away from being fat.  I am friends with him to this day and I bet he doesn't even remember saying that to me. CRAZY!  

I had horrible eating habits in High School but I was on the go a lot, stressed about my mom and somehow I maintained my weight well. I am going to stop here as we made it through High School. My biggest takeaway from those years is to be kind to your children. Introduce them to a wide variety of foods and don't reward behaviors yours or theirs with food.  That learned behavior is what builds their relationship with food, good or bad.  Be BOLD!! 

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