Happy Mother's Day!

First, I want to say Happy Mother's Day to all of you doing your very best. Being a mom isn't easy and some of you make it look that way so my hat goes off to you!  My son is 20 and I have to tell you there is no guilt like mom guilt. I could have done this better, why did I say that, why is he acting that way, I didn't teach him to behave that way. If you have kids, I am sure can relate.  We are human, we make mistakes but I know most of us have good hearts and are trying our best.  Moms work hard in a lot of areas so I hope today you are taking time for yourself. You deserve it!

This day was bittersweet for me for many years.  All of those years struggling with infertility issues, and not having Doris Jean in my life.  It was not something I looked forward to. It was more of a reminder of what I didn't have.  I had to change the way I thought about the day and remember that I am loved and I did have a fur baby to take care of.  I was a mom! 

Sean and I tried for many, many years to conceive.  I did the body temperature chart, counting ovulation days, fertility drugs, and inseminations, but nothing was working. I would take pregnancy test after pregnancy test and they were always negative. I decided for my own mental health that I needed a break.  If it was meant for Sean and I not to be parents I had to accept it.  Sean was out to sea and came home for a bit and then had to go back out.  I was out to dinner with friends and I remember feeling nauseous when the waitress walked by our table with a steak.  My friend said you are pregnant.  I was like, don't joke about that.  They made me buy a pregnancy test.  I took it in the morning and it was positive. I was sure it was a faulty test.  It was a Sunday and I called the Base clinic and asked for a urine test.  They were only open for a short time but they told me to come in.  I walked up to the counter and the lady says to me, honey, you are pregnant. Apparently, I had flushed cheeks.  She said go home and we will call you in about an hour.  I go home and I am a nervous, anxious mess. I get the call and the lady on the other end says, Mrs. Armstrong, you are going to be a mom.  My heart dropped to my feet and I sobbed.  I thanked God and sobbed.  Back then we didn't have cell phones so I e-mailed Sean on the ship and told him when he is able to, call me. It was not an emergency but I had to tell him something important.  I could not wait.  He calls me but there is a delay when I speak.  I would say a sentence but it would take a few seconds to reach him. AWKWARD! I said babe, you are going to be a dad.  He screams, cried, yells, and was so excited.  When he got off of that ship the first thing he did was buy the baby a pair of white Nike sneakers. That was one of the BEST memories of my life telling him he was going to be a dad. 

Being Doris Jean's daughter I always think of the folks without.  There are some of you reading this that would do anything to be a mom but you can't.  My heart goes out to you. I hope you know how amazing you are just being you.  You are loved and adored.  To those fur baby mommas, you are AMAZING!  Some of those fur babies have it better than my son had it growing up!  Those Aunties who love unconditionally are special people. You are the world to your nephews and nieces.  

To all of the women out there, moms or not, enjoy this day and make it be about you!  Do what you like! 

Be BOLD!!!