Who's That Lady?

 In Tuesday's blog, I spoke about my longtime friend Zach.  I asked if men and women could be friends.  I did get some feedback in the Shouldabeenabook Facebook group but I was surprised not more of you chimed in. 

Zach and I are friends based on work and our sense of humor.  I am older and was married when we met and we always had a brother/sister relationship.  Sean loves Zach and never had a problem at all with our friendship.  

Sean was in the military for 20 years.  He has always been a good, kind-hearted man.  I remember our early 20's, we lived in Base housing in Maryland.  I came home from work one day and there is a lady, a young lady baking something in the oven and jamming out to my Alanis Morissette, Jagged Littel Pill cd.  My first response in my head was - what the hell?  Sean could see I was taken aback and said this is so and so, she didn't have an oven to use and she has signed up to bring a baked good to the work party.  Granted, such a nice move on Sean's part but it made me feel a certain kind of way because I didn't know who she was, in my kitchen, listening to my cd, just all in my space. 

A few years after that Sean met a very nice female who worked with him in the Navy who he referenced by her last name.  When you're in the military, everyone is called by their last name so you really have no clue if it is male or female.  I knew the name because he would say I am going to do PT with Rodgers, Rodgers and I are picking up lunch for the crew.  when I was 6 months pregnant his job hosted a Halloween party.  I was huge, had a flannel shirt on, the ugliest mask you have ever seen, my super short hair was matted to my head and forehead and I look over and see this very pretty brunette all made up, mini skirt, fishnets, the works!  Sean says Rodgers, come here I want you to meet my wife Jackie.  At that moment I wanted to slide right underneath the table.  She was so nice but I was feeling a certain kind of way because again, I was caught off guard.  

I have always told Sean, I don't mind the female friendships but let me know who they are.  I don't like being caught off guard. I do trust Sean but I do not know the intentions of the "female" friend.  Remember Doris Jean was cheated on by my dad with her friend?  That stung a lot.  I just want to be in the loop. 

I love my husband and we are best friends.  He has learned over the years through trial and error what I am comfortable with and what I am not comfortable with.  I know for some of my friends it is a big NO!  They have had infidelity issues in the past or it just isn't for them.  You have to do what works for you and what makes you comfortable in your relationship.  It's your business!  

Coming up in the next series of blogs, we are talking about health, weight loss, mental health, and the journey I am currently on to improve those things in my life.         

Be BOLD!!