Mental Health

 What is mental health?  Mental health includes our emotional, psychological, and social well-being.  It affects how we think, feel and act.  It also helps determine how we handle stress, relate to others and make healthy choices. 

For me, mental health started becoming more talked about during Covid.  I think we were all thrown into this world of the unknown and our mental health was taking a beating.  We were unsure how to process this global pandemic so like humans do, we adapted and kept moving forward.  We all kept it moving and most of us have not processed what we have gone through over the past 3 plus years.

So many times I see on social media, especially from my female friends that they are tired, they need a break, and they feel like they are going to have a breakdown.  This has got to change.  We have to start setting clear boundaries and change the way we manage ourselves at work, as spouses/partners, and as employees. 

I remember for years and years when Sean was in the Navy on deployment, I took care of everything.  The house, yard, pets, child, bills, shopping, - EVERYTHING!  He was away so I had to do those things.  People would offer different ways to help and I would say no thank you.  Why do we turn away help?  I know I did because I didn't want to be a burden on anyone.  I still feel that way to a certain degree. Let them help. I promise you, the people who are there offering to help mean it, they want to lessen your burdens. 

Your spouse should be a 50/50 partner and not add to your workload.  In the early years, women were expected to stay home and take care of the home and children.  They did not work. Now most women are working full-time jobs and are still expected to do all of those things.  That is not a fair expectation.  Your spouse should be helping with the kids, helping with the housework, whatever it is to create balance and less stress in the home, they should be supporting you in that.  Earlier in my marriage I would do things and then have resentment against Sean but I wasn't communicating to him that I was getting burnt out.  I had to change the way I was going about life so that he understood that I needed more help.  Just last night I was taking the clothes out of the dryer and he asks, would you like help with that?  I said sure and we did it together.  If you have a partner talk to them about how you are feeling, and let them know how they can help with creating less stress and more balance in your home.      

More and more people that I know personally are changing career paths.  They are choosing their own mental health over a position and a higher paycheck.  The older I get the more I realize how important boundaries are at work.  Take your lunch breaks, use your vacation days, and don't feel guilty for using your sick time when you are sick.  You have to take care of YOU! Don't be afraid to use your voice and advocate for yourself.

Someone I love and I won't mention any names told me that she takes her cell phone to bed, under her pillow, and has her laptop in the room with her at night when she sleeps.  She can hear the beeps and dings when she receives e-mails and texts.  She is not getting sound rest which is so important for mental health, period.  I know for her it is a struggle because she wants to do a good job and be on top of things.  Those things can wait for an appropriate time. 

Bottom line friends, we live in a day and age where we are always on the go.  We take little time for ourselves and are burning out at a high rate. We do and do and do until we feel like we are going to break.  Be BOLD!  Set boundaries at work by letting people know that these are the times I will be available.  Use your breaks and vacation days. Communicate with your supervisor if you are overworked or there are unrealistic expectations put on you because you are the person who always gets things done.  Communicate with your spouse/partner so that you are both doing your part at home to create balance and the tasks are divided up 50/50. Do things for yourself!  Schedule a time for a pedicure, a walk, read a book, listen to music, whatever brings you joy, schedule that in as you would any other appointment.  We have to slow down and smell the roses. Time is passing so fast that we owe it to ourselves to take care of ourselves and have peace in our lives every single day.  It won't just happen. This is where you come in, come up with a plan, communicate it to those around you, and stick to it.  You are worth it!